Zeal and my lack thereof

Definition of ZEAL

: eagerness and ardent interest in pursuit of something : fervor

My job sucks and to have zeal for it would certainly be aiming at the wrong target.  There are certain things for which I do have ZEAL, and it is those I must pursue.

"Zeal is the affirmative impulse of existence; its command is 'Go forward!'  Through this impulse man forms many states of consciousness the he ultimately tires of.  They may have served a good purpose in their day in the grand scheme of creation, but as man catches sight of higher things zeal urges him forward to their attainment."

"Let your zeal be tempered with wisdom. 'The zeal of thy house hath eaten me up' means tha tht zeal faculty has become so active intellectually that it has consumed the vitality and left nothing for spiritual growth.  One may even become so zealous for the spread of Truth as to bring on nervous prostration."

--"The Twelve Powers of Man" by Charles Fillmore

Let faith and zeal give you a miracle today

The Bright Light Unveils Hope and a New Age

"When people see the possibilities that follow a right change of mind, they will crows the halls of metaphysical teachers as they now crow moving-picture shows.  When it is clearly understood that doubt, fear, poverty, disease and death--every thought, good or bad, that men have expressed--have existence through mind we shall see a shifting of consciousness and a radical change in thought and word by everybody of sane mind."--The Twelve Powers of Man by Charles Fillmore.

Start "right thinking" now:  The wrong thinkers are committing the heinous murders to glorify themselves as gods.  I pray this Christmas day 2012 passes without tragedy.

Amen

Sin City Living Up To Its Name

"A Bellagio blackjack dealer suffered deep cuts to her face after a colleague stabbed her while the two were inside a casino pit Friday night, officials said Saturday.

It was the second violent incident in a week inside a high-profile resort on the Strip, the other being a murder-suicide at the Excalibur last weekend."

More

This is the second violent crime on the Strip in a week.  Seems the evil ones may just take care of each other and stay out of our way.  Or, perhaps the Rapture has already happened and we are left behind.  It's amazing that the woman would have the nerve (and hatred) to perform her evil deed at work and in front of the public.

This is the sort of post-apocalyptic event I'm afraid we'll be seeing more of as well; to go along with the mass shootings.

Hold on to your Faith.

Oppression! People are sick and tired...

This is a typical post apocalyptic event.

New Delhi (CNN) -- Thousands of protesters defied a ban on demonstrations in New Delhi on Sunday, venting their anger over a gang rape incident.

For a second day, demonstrators were blasted with water cannons in the Indian capital. While some dispersed, others huddled tightly in a circle to brave high-pressure streams in the cold December weather.

"We want justice!" the protesters shouted in chorus

.

In addition to banners and cardboard placards, many demonstrators carried Indian flags as they scuffled with police. Authorities fired tear gas to try to break up crowds.

Source

This is the kind of the we began to see happening with the "Arab Spring".   You will see more of it.  Happy apocalypse!

I survived the apocalypse.

I never believed the Apocalypse would be a bad thing.  It would be a time of unveiling: for as I have said before a Greek work which implies an unveiling:

 "An apocalypse (Ancient Greek: ἀποκάλυψις apocálypsis, from ἀπό and καλύπτω meaning 'un-covering'), translated literally from Greek, is a disclosure of knowledge, hidden from humanity in an era dominated by falsehood and misconception, i.e., a lifting of the veil or revelation, although this sense did not enter English until the 14th century." wikipedia.com

With the rash of mass murders over the last year, we have unveiled our penchant to hate and murder each other.  We must find a way of stopping this or as the President said, "We can't allow this to continue."   So, what will it take?  An unveiling of the fact that we are all brothers and sisters. 

Don't be surprised.  I have already begun to see things happening in people.  Their hearts seem to be getting softer.  Presently, the effect is very subtle, but it will grow.  Keep your eyes open for the good and create some good yourself.  Now is the time for the true APOCALYPSE.

Vivid Dreams and Visiting God

My dreams have become so vivid and detailed that I feel this overwhelming desire to pay serious attention to them.  I'm holding back a lion, digging up ancient ruins worth 9 million dollars in Christchurch New Zealand, getting lost on the way to a baseball game in Cleveland, having an epileptic seizure while walking and finding myself totally lost.

I wake up, or come into near consciousness during the dreams and change their direction.  I even woke up tired of getting to the baseball stadium in Cleveland and stayed awake intentionally hoping the dream would stop.

Edgar Cayce:

"'...there are dreams that can bring into play certain structures of great importance to the dreamer.  In these dreams, the dreamer contacts the best, or higher, self--or may even reach to something beyond the self, which Cayce called the Creative Forces, or God.'  In Cayce's vie, the superconcscious is the portion of mind that has retained the memory of God's presence and is man's link with his original spiritual consciousness.  These forces can provide the dreamer with boundless information and guidance.'"

What guidance do I find from holding back an mountain lion on a dog collar from chasing a rabbit?  Certainly a great amount of strength.  What guidance do I find by helping Vaughn Sanders in Christchurch New Zealand uncover millions of dollars worth of ancient ruins?  I certainly felt worthy of his trust and confident that I would be included in the wealth.

I am starting to feel a great deal of power coming from working with these dreams.  I am having a blast adventuring through the night with them as well.   Where will it lead?  I am going to consider it work for a time and see where I am destined to land.

Edgar Cayce:

"According to Cayce, each night we have contact with spiritual and  psychic forces through our dreams.  Because of this, dreams work to accomplish two things:  they work to solve the problems of the dreamer's conscious, waking life, and they work to awaken the dreamer to full stature asa person, to quicken in the dreamer new potentials which are his hers to claim"

When Things Are Falling Apart

Not Actual Home

Our home is falling apart and it's time to fix it.  The timing couldn't be much worse, with all of my medical expenses dragging down my partner and I's disposable income.

He is no plumber; he blew out a pipe by plunging it.  The whole pipe just exploded.  Then he tried to fix it himself.  And, it's no simple pipe: it leads from the kitchen sink, down to the basement and all the way up through the roof. 

The windows are also nearly falling out of the walls, the roof is who knows how old and the gutters are shot.

Things are falling apart.  How do we find a spiritual solution for this?

"'Erase all desire and you will attain bliss.' This philosophy, advocated by some teachers of the spiritual path, sounds simple and straightforward, even though not easily attainable.  However, we might wonder if it is really desire that stands in our way.  Our human experience suggests that nothing great is accomplished without a strong desire to see it done, so why should this not pertain as well to the spiritual path?"

"In fact it is quite likely that desire, properly directed. is one of the necessary ingredients for us to fulfill our spiritual purpose in earth."

"God cannot save man that would not be saved!"

"The positions in which we find ourselves are drawn to us through our desires.  Whatever we are physically,  mentally  or spiritually has been built through desire..."

-- "Experiments in Practical Spirituality"

I think we have found ourselves in the situation we are in with our home by neglecting to even think about fixing it up.  In turn, the neglect has taken its toll on the physical well-being of our home.  Now we must focus on the 'desire' to feel safe and secure in our home by not pretending it just isn't there and waiting for something catastrophic to happen.  I think then by using spiritual force, the physical will take care of itself.

"Desire is so potent a force in shaping our live that the parameters and dimensions which are defined by our desires become a type of personal law which our soul will experience."

-- "Experiments in Practical Spirituality"

 

The Healing and Edgar Cayce Formula

My Ulcerative Colitis has improved significantly over the last few days.  I researched the readings of Edgar Cayce to see what he had to day about Ulcerative Colitis.  In the several readings I could find, he always mentions ginger and ginseng.  I went to my local health food store, bought ginger tea, fennel tea and ginseng extract.  Each day I have made a very strong mixture of the tea and diluted it with ice to drink at work.  My bleeding has all but stopped though I still have urgency.

I have also started using something in that same time frame called "Pearls" which is a probiotic.  I feel as if I am on the way to being healed with prayer, and natural remedies although I am still taking my prescription drugs minus the hideous Prednisone. 

Symbols; My Waking Dream

Experiment:  Select a current difficult life experience.  Write down in your journal:
a) Exactly what is is most difficult for you about this.
b) What new state of consciousness you are challenged to develop.
c) What symbolic images you recognize.

The most difficult situation that I currently face is my health, my ulcerative colitis, which ebbs and flows: literally with blood flowing.  Having a normal bowel movement is a rarity for me.  I often have to nearly run to the restroom. I believe what is most difficult about this is seeing blood coming from my body.

I will have to develop a state of consciousness where the blood does not bother me.   I will have to start to look for the symbolic images.

Within five minutes of me typing this, the Doctor's office called me to make an appointment.

I have had no bleeding for 24 hours without taking Prednisone.

The new state of consciousness I am trying to develop is 'acceptance'.

As far as symbolic images that I recognize or have recognized:  I saw a tree with an enormous gash in it the other day.  The tree was full and beautiful.  It reminded me of a tree I have in my front yard which had a large hole in it.  I remember seeing a few, large black ants crawling in and out of the hole.  I thought that certainly, since they were carpenter ants, they were destroying the inside of the tree even though from outward appearance the tree was perfectly healthy, green and beautiful.

I decided to take the defense of the tree into my own hands and took the garden hose and flooded the hole; the ants came pouring out in a frenzy.  Over a period of a few weeks I would occasionally repeat the process with fewer ants emerging each time.  The hole is now closing in the side of the tree and the ants are gone.

This is very symbolic of my use of enemas to wash my colon, which I feel is full of bad bugs.  We'll see if I have the same success as the tree.

What is a Miracle?

"The miracle comes quietly into the mind that stops an instant and is still...He to Whom time is given offers thanks for every quiet instant given Him.  For in that instant is God's memory allowed to offer all its treasures to the Son of God, for whom they have been kept.  How gladly does He offer them unto the one for who He has been given Them!"--A Course In Miracles

Memory is to focus on now?

"What better way to close the little gap between illusions and reality than to allow the memory of God to flow across it, making it a bridge an instant will suffice to reach beyond? For God has closed it with Himself."--A Course In Miracles


I will focus on my quiet moments today and give thanks for them.

Memorial Day

I know I violated every copyright law in the book but this is my Memorial Day tribute.  Somber Memorial Day to You.

Day and Night

What laws am I obedient to?  What laws should I be obedient to?

"Experiment: Select a difficulty in your life or some situation with which you are struggling.  Work at changing your attitude by recognizing to what law it it you must be obedient in order to move beyond the problem.  In your prayers about this difficulty ask for greater capacity to be lovingly and joyfully obedient to this higher law" "Experiments In Practical Spirituality"

 I am having an extremely difficult time with a woman, more of a girl really at work.  She used to be the most talkative person; even to the point of being irritating. Now she speaks to virtually no one except for the management and one person in the department.  Every time I see this person I feel like sneering.  Her choice to deliberately exclude people, in some cases, might be considered bullying.

From an article called: "Workplace Bullying: Applying Psychological Torture at Work" by Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D.

"What are some of the tactics bullies use in the workplace?...
The Silent Treatment. Often a bully and his or her "inner circle" will ostracize victims to the extent of completely ignoring them - refusing to even acknowledge their presence. In other instances, the bullies will stop talking when the victim enters the room, but perhaps continue talking in hushed tones with furtive looks at the victim, giggling and/or making disapproving grunts. You know, the same kind of tactics used in the schoolyard."

I have chosen this small difficulty in my life will start working at my attitude by recognizing to what law I must be obedient to to move beyond the problem.

Perhaps I fool myself when I think I live by the following:

" Luke 10:25-28

²⁵And one day an authority on the law stood up to put Jesus to the test. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to receive eternal life?” ²⁶What is written in the Law?” Jesus replied. “How do you understand it?” ²⁷He answered, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Love him with all your strength and with all your mind.’(Deuteronomy 6:5) And, ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ ”
²⁸“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do that, and you will live.”.

I used to speak to the girl every morning when I came in to work.  I no longer do that.  If I were truly living by the "Golden Rule", I would continue to speak to hear whether she spoke to me or not.  It seems that I am living by some rule that protects my ego by getting even by acting in the same way she does.  It is, however, becoming nearly impossible for me to bring myself to speak to her.  I find myself disliking her extremely, despising her for having the audacity to be so rude that she feels she can sit in isolation and speak to no one.

I will start praying that God and Jesus will give me an answer to this....

The day after I wrote this blog the girl started talking again!

Tithing Scares Me!

The furthest thing from my priorities right now is helping others. Whenever I read a self-help, or spiritual book and I come to the part about giving something clenches in my esophagus.

"Experiment: Do good for others but allow the good which by law will return to you to come from whatever source God chooses. Observe tat it will not necessarily come back from the same person to whom you have done god.  Keep a written account of unexpected good happenings."--Experiments in Practical Spirituality

 Today I donated $25.00 to the Network for Good.  I will keep my written account here.

1. Someone posted this strange comment on another blog I have:  Agoni707 said.
   "Jesus embraced families for real eternal years. Terrified Indian missionaries moaned sadly.Illusion Silenced. Another Nature. All loaded into endless nothingness!
   Agoni707"  Not sure if this is a "good happening" or not.
2. No new developments as of the morning of May 9th; this could be a result of my expecting too much.
3. Unexpected good happenings as of May 13, 2012...not many really.  My health remains iffy, but slightly improving. I'll keep you posted.
4. I notified the company that made my $400.00 eyeglasses that they were abnormally scratched.  Although they said they do not normally cover scratching, they said they would replace my lenses for free!
5. I received notice by mail that a $1,000 hospital bill had been reduced by half.
6. Some people I am doing contract work for surprised me by inviting me to dinner at an expensive restaurant.
7. McDonald's sent me a coupon for a free Extra Value Meal because they forgot to put in my hash browns last time.

Numbers 4 through 7 all happened in one day, May 16 2012.  It seems that perhaps the tithing worked.  No, I'm sure the tithing worked and I will continue to do so from this point forward. 

The Blood is Back

My practical, spiritual experiment has turned into a total failure.  My tithing has backfired into a gushing of blood from my anus as my Ulcerative Colitis re-flared.  My family medical leave is denying my day called in sick stating that my doctor predicted that I would only have one flare every three months; this I did not know.  Now I have had three flares in three months, two of which I assume were rejected and therefore counting against me at work.  My partner says regarding my disease, "You are not a victim."  What are people that have diseases?

Unexpected good happenings?  Forget it.  I can honestly say that the days since my tithing took place have been a steady decline into poor health, anxiety, and depression. 

Mother's Day

The day of  agony and pain for me.  I found out my mother is dead via email, months after the fact just this year, March 9th to be exact. She spent the last thirty years of her life as a ward of the state.  I testified and the competency hearing; helped put her away.  I don't mourn.  I boil with anger that a sweet little child was abandoned by both it's mother and father; a strange occurrence I would think, perhaps if I were a malformed chimp it might be more common.  I feel like a malformed chimp today, perhaps even a little rabid, foaming at the mouth and ready to bite: mean, baby chimp.

Seeing Problems as Opportunities

Now this is  going to be a tough one...to see my ulcerative colitis as an "opportunity".  I have to start taking care of the little things and make my heart sing.  Govinda writes that letting go is very important.  The air we breathe in, the food we eat becomes toxic (to us) once our bodies are done with it and we must let it go.  I must define my ideal: certainly good health is a part of that but not the ideal in itself.  The health problem is perhaps a sign that I am not letting go. I must consciously and unconsciously release this health problem to God, often, frequently, repeatedly; I give it away.  "how much time and energy do I invest in protecting certain ways of thinking about myself?"

I visualize my colon, removed from my body lying on a sculpted pedestal being healed by God...weird I know!

The Bible Came

A curious story began about Easter time this year when I received an email out of the blue on Ancestry.com. The email read: 

"Since I do genealogy, a person in my town gave me an old family bible that I believe may be one attached to your family. It is the family bible of Patrick M. Cooney b. Feb 22, 1870 married to Dora Rattterree Cooney b. aug 18, 1879. Do you think this might be yours? I would love to get this back to the rightful family line."

 At first I was very skeptical that perhaps this was someone hoping I would offer up funds in advance to pay for the shipping.  I rented an PO Box just to prevent my privacy and went ahead with the communication, too curious to let the opportunity go.  I checked m PO Box everyday for two weeks and nothing.  I became disheartened that I had been misled.

I decided to contact the lady one more time to ask her if she had sent the Bible.  She apologized that she had been out of the country and would send it right away.  I think it was two days later that it came.  I was excited to carry the heavy envelope out of the Post Office and was tearing at the seal before I got in the car. I pulled it out and paged through it a bit, seeing that there were some names and dates written inside, a gingerbread cake recipe from 1952 and an obituary for a Grand Uncle.  Well I had to hurry to work so I laid the Bible beside me in the seat.  I drove the whole way with my hand resting on what I felt was a magical tome; it was as if I could feel my ancestors coming through the paper.  The smell of the old book filled the car, transporting me in time.  I carried the heavy book into work with me, excited to learn more about the Bible itself and those who owned it. 

According to the woman who sent me the Bible, it was given to her 30 years ago by an American Indian woman.  Interestingly, this woman was the daughter of a man named Greg Whitespear who appeared in dozens of movies during the 1930s playing an American Indian.  How the Bible got to me is no less than a miracle.  I feel the whole series of events was guided by the hand of God. 

There is more to come...as the lady who sent me the Bible has promised to follow up with Native American woman who gave it to her.  This could get really interesting.

I'm Not So Mad At Jesus Today

Though I feel as if my liver has been pinched, I awoke after a long night's sleep feeling bleary eyed and crabby.  I think it's allergies.  I am working a thirteen hour day today as one of the girls here has had an unfortunate event: her husband had a heart attack.  This reminds me how fortunate I am, though my health is iffy, to have a healthy husband.

I'm going to read some more of the book of Mormon today.  It is striking to me that Jesus seems a little perturbed in this version of the gospel. Maybe it's just the way it is written.  It is quite an interesting read.  I was drawn to the book years ago when I found it in a pile of books of a man who had died.  I picked it up with plans to read but never have until just recently inspired after the new Mormon Temple that was just built in my area.  Wow, these folks know how to build a Temple. We toured it wearing mandatory booties which were graciously put on for us by Mormon children seated at a bench just near the entrance.  They were all smiling and happy; the whole operation was extremely organized and efficient. 

"And it came to pass that he went again a little way off, and prayed unto the Father: and tongue cannot speak the words which he prayed, neither can be written by man the words which he prayed.  And the multitude did hear, and do bear record, and their hearts were open, and they did understand in their hearts the words which he prayed, that they cannot be written neither can they be uttered by man." ---The Book Of Mormon

 The above quote speaks of Jesus and his unspeakable teachings: the Temple we visited was nearly as mysterious.  From the outside it appears to be a cathedral but it is actually a winding structure of individual rooms.  There is no huge hall for prayer or worship, as a matter of fact the facility is closed on Sunday and Monday.  The biggest rooms we saw was one that must have seated about a hundred people.   It was decorated with mural all around of a beautiful Missouri prairie scene.  The scene was depicted quite accurately with native flowers and trees: Black Eyed Susan, Coneflowers and Redbud trees.  According to the guide, it was here that the visitor was to sit and worship the beauty and peace of nature.  We stood there for a time; I wish I could have stayed longer as it was indeed a beautiful and peaceful place.

The second huge room was a baptismal where Mormons ceremoniously baptize their deceased ancestors into the Mormon Faith.  The rite of baptism is essential for entry into Heaven for the Mormons.  According to our guide, however, the dead have the right to choose or reject the baptism.

As one climbed the heights of the Temple the rooms got brighter and brighter simulating an ascent into heaven.  The entire structure was decorated lavishly and expensively.  If you get a chance to visit one of these places, I highly recommend it.  It is my understanding that not even all Mormons ever get to see one of these temples in their lifetime.  I have a feeling that may have something to do with tithing but that is pure conjecture on my part.