Symbols; My Waking Dream

Experiment:  Select a current difficult life experience.  Write down in your journal:
a) Exactly what is is most difficult for you about this.
b) What new state of consciousness you are challenged to develop.
c) What symbolic images you recognize.

The most difficult situation that I currently face is my health, my ulcerative colitis, which ebbs and flows: literally with blood flowing.  Having a normal bowel movement is a rarity for me.  I often have to nearly run to the restroom. I believe what is most difficult about this is seeing blood coming from my body.

I will have to develop a state of consciousness where the blood does not bother me.   I will have to start to look for the symbolic images.

Within five minutes of me typing this, the Doctor's office called me to make an appointment.

I have had no bleeding for 24 hours without taking Prednisone.

The new state of consciousness I am trying to develop is 'acceptance'.

As far as symbolic images that I recognize or have recognized:  I saw a tree with an enormous gash in it the other day.  The tree was full and beautiful.  It reminded me of a tree I have in my front yard which had a large hole in it.  I remember seeing a few, large black ants crawling in and out of the hole.  I thought that certainly, since they were carpenter ants, they were destroying the inside of the tree even though from outward appearance the tree was perfectly healthy, green and beautiful.

I decided to take the defense of the tree into my own hands and took the garden hose and flooded the hole; the ants came pouring out in a frenzy.  Over a period of a few weeks I would occasionally repeat the process with fewer ants emerging each time.  The hole is now closing in the side of the tree and the ants are gone.

This is very symbolic of my use of enemas to wash my colon, which I feel is full of bad bugs.  We'll see if I have the same success as the tree.